There's the Head

Basically, for the whole Shelly's pregnancy the doctor was kind of an idiot. His staff was worse. If you know how to put a blood pressure device on your wrist correctly, you know more than his nurse did. Long story short, false blood pressure readings lead to the decision of Shelly being induced a day early. I, still knowing nothing about this whole process, thought we'd be in and out. With a baby.

We arrived at the hospital on Thursday night around 9 p.m. so they could start the process. (Induction process? Not sure. It isn't the hall of fame. But then again...) They told us she would start having contractions the next morning. This is probably the last time they would be right about anything. During this time I learned that Shelly had to get all the way to 10 centimers. I did not know this. Hearing the distressed calls of pain she was in around 11 a.m., I was sure she had reached that point. I text some friends that the baby would be here around noon. Then the nurse informed us that Shelly was just shy of 4 cm. Cue Epidural.

The doctor who administered the shot for Shelly was like a magician. One minute there was pain and the next, Shelly forgot an entire episode of 'The Office'. Somewhere around 4:30, after a Chipotle burrito and multiple texts updating friends and family that the baby would be here soon, the pain seemed to return for Shelly. This was not pleasant. For her either. She started to push around 5:15 and I think we were both pretty confident that the baby would be out in a few short minutes. There was one small problem. No doctor in sight.

Pushing was not fun for either of us. If you want to see a reenactment of the great pains I took to avoid looking, I will gladly show you. 6:10, still no doctor. I was starting to get a little worried. After all this pushing, the nurse told Shelly to take a break. That seemed, and was confirmed by Shelly, an impossible thing to do. The next thing I now the nurse is telling me to pull the Emergency Cord in the bathroom. We went from 0 to 60 in seconds. I pulled that rip cord and the room filled with people. As the doctor (not our doctor) put her gloves on, Paige's head emerged rather unexpectedly it seemed, but since they were there to deliver a baby, I feel like they should have seen that coming.

Paige was born at 6:18 with no doctor in sight and a pretty large hematoma on the back of her head. We were worried at first but the nurses assured us it was normal. I really can't describe the wave of emotion I felt when I first heard her cry, so I won't. Hopefully everyone gets to experience that. I learned a lot in that hospital room. Mainly, when you think you're baby will be delivered, add 10 hours. Another thing, newborns sound just like birds.